264. EVERYTHING YOU KNOW IS A LIE

NASA, Spacex. They are feeding us BS footage, mostly filmed underwater note the air bubbles in official astronaut fiddling with space stuff films.

 -- waaaaaatch the footage of these space walks people. Look carefully... whoah! An air bubble in space! Coooool.

You would think that everything out there in space would be completely frosted over from the cold. SpaceX's car seems incredibly preserved. I'm sure someone can prove me wrong on this point with pseudo-science.

If we are on a rock hurtling through space at a million miles per hour, turning at whatever thousand miles per hour, you don't think we'd be flung off? Why perpetuate this incredible, incredible lie?

1. The sun WILL blow up. It's inevitable. Accumulate as much wealth as you can before that happens. Get the latest IPhone.

2. We WILL run into a HUGE meteor that will kill all life on the planet except roaches. Or people who live in 9,000,000,000,000 dollar missile silos. Accumulate as much wealth as you can.

SECRET #3: Fukushima WILL kill all life on the planet. Accumulate as much wealth as you can.

None of us actually own anything. The government owns us. Face the facts. Stop crying like a

  "Hi guys! I'm not real! None of this is real! See you on the flip side --- of earth! haha!" -- with love, FAKEX