14. "Keep your feet firmly planted in the soil. Even though the soil may move."

This, like most of this list, was only brought to my attention several weeks ago.

1. There is no north pole.
2. Australia is really, really close to the orient.
3. South America has moved dramatically to the east; like it's now almost touching Africa.
4. Russia is insanely huge.
5. Remember how everyone talked shit about Sarah Palin for saying she could see Russia from her homeland of Alaska? Now she sure as fuck can.
6. China was land-locked in my reality. Now it has a beach? How convenient.
7. New Zealand was NOT IN THAT SPOT
8. Kazahkistan, only recently brought into human knowledge by the movie "Borat," it was NOT that big.

Greenland is fucking massive. I could stay around here for a while writing about the monumental changes to the globe, but this topic hurts my brain too much. How can people "not notice..." that the homeland of Santa Clause is mysteriously disappeared? Didn't you people grow up with fucking Santa? With his elves and shit? All living at the north pol-...... fuck it. Just fuck this.

 Here's a new map of the world for you, in some foreign language because I can't make sense of any of this sh-t